Asslama Alaikum,
I am 23 years old muslim girl and my question is there is someone who wants to marry me but he is christian,i know this guy for a long time.i told him that i can't marry him and have explained him what i knew so far like why can't muslim women marry non muslim men but he keeps asking me to marry and says if it is about children then he won't mind if i bring them up muslim and he won't even care if i respect his religion.i tried my best to make him understand . would you like to solve my this problem with the references and so that he could understand too.he says he is not religious and he cant see why can't we both stay as how we are together.looking forward for your answer.
i will share everything what i will get in response for this question from your side with him.
Allah Hafiz
Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa BarakatuhuThe fact remains that women are still physically and socially the weaker sex(despite todays freedoms and shouts of equality) and it is this weakness and disadvantage which forms one of the reasons for such a prohibition.
Despite what this man says now he will still be the "head" of the household and possibly have the larger say on the outcome of things to come,i know this sounds rather chauvanistic but its the ground reality.
What if he decides to insult islam or worse oneday (Allah forbid),will you be able to physically stop him?
You will be alienated or even cast out by the muslim community and hence be vulnerable,what if he or his community coerce you to leave islam and accept what they believe in,will you be able to stand up to the menfolk of the non muslims be it vocally /physically( if neccassary)?
What if he increases in faith one day and decides to bring up the children in his faith,will you be physically and mentally strong enough to stop him?
Disbelief/shirk kufr has been described as impurity or filth ,whereas islam is purity and muslim women are the most precious jewels who have a great standing who are either mothers,daughters or sisters of muslims and in o way can islam let them become under control or binded(marriage is such a thing where both partners become under each others control) of a non muslim?
We cannot give away a jewel on the way of truth to someone who's beliefs are impure and who has no appreciation for Allah
Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and his Rasool
Salla Allahu 'alayhi wa Sallam.
Sister there are many more reasons for the prohibition but this i believe is one of the main ones ,that being the fact that there is a greater danger to the muslim womens iman being lost( due to their disadvantage socially and physically and in general being the more obedient of the two partners.)
You may say that in this day and age equality is the order of the day,but i'm afraid you'd be kidding yourself sister,despite women having more rights in the western world it still remains a mans world.
So dear sister do not fall prey to your desire or what this man serenades you with(sweet words or guarantees or encouragement),your iman is not worth putting at risk(regardless of how strong you think it is ) over limited pleasure.
If he really respects you and your religion and really wants to marry you why is it difficult for him to leave his religion,especially as you say he's not a very religious man anyway.
All he has to do is reject trinity,believe truly the oness of Allah
Subhanahu wa Ta'ala the messengership of RasoolAllah
ASALATU WASALAMU ALAYKA YA RASULLALLAH and the other articles of faith truly from the heart then it would be permissable for you to marry him,otherwise its haram and it would be counted as fornication.
Plainly speaking, if he cant give up what he really does not even regard highly(his own faith) for the women he wants to marry,do you really think he's worth even trusting your future to(not that its allowed for you to marry him anyway whilst he's non muslim)?
Shariah(islamic law) is in place to safeguard the iman of muslims,anything that endangers a persons iman is not permissable,as iman is the most valuable thing to a muslim.
Tell him if he wants to marry you then he should briefly study/understand islam and accept it with his heart(not just temporarily,as the marriage would get annulled the moment he went out of islam again),and if he's not prepared to do that then you must question his motives and just say no.
Also keep away from any relationship which would be deemed haram in islam with him.