Obeying your Husband

[hal786]

Salaam Sisters and Brothers, under shariah to what extent does a wife have to obey her Husband.For example if a husband is near the table and still tells the wife to come over to pass him his plate or cup of tea is that permissible. Or is that simply a man abusing his role as a husband ?


Please do let me know your views.

Jazakallah
Haleema x

[fatma]

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

from what i know if your husband asks you to take the white rock from the white mountain and take it to the black mountain then you should do so.

if you are making roti and your husband calls you then you must answer his call first.

although regarding your question i would say that the husband in that instance is being lazy and pretend you didn't hear him and let him get it himself

[Noor e Naqshband]

Feb 2, 2009 21:43:43 GMT fatma said:

although regarding your question i would say that the husband in that instance is being lazy and pretend you didn't hear him and let him get it himself

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

Is that some of your expertise advise Sweet Sister ;D

Fi Aminillah

Wa'alaykum 'Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

[hal786]

jazakallah for ur views i do agree i think in the case presented i would totally agree that is pure laziness.

hope ur well
Take care
Alahfiz x

[Noor e Naqshband]

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

Laziness or no laziness, a husband should Inshallah play his role in the marriage too, although for a woman in Islam, her main aim should always be to strive to keep him happy.

The true Muslim woman is always obedient to her husband, provided that no sin is involved. She is respectful towards him and is always eager to please him and make him happy. If he is poor, she does not complain about his being unable to spend much. She does not complain about her housework, because she remembers that many of the virtuous women in Islamic history set an example of patience, goodness and a positive attitude in serving their husbands and taking care of their homes despite the poverty and hardships they faced. One of the foremost of these exemplary wives is Fatimah al Zahra Radi Allahu anha, the daughter of Rasoolallah Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam and the wife of Ali ibn Abi Talib Radi Allahu anhu. She Radi Allahu anha used to complain of the pain in her Radi Allahu anha hands caused by grinding grain with the hand-mill. Her Radi Allahu anha husband Ali ibn Abi Talib Radi Allahu anhu said to her Radi Allahu anha one day, ''Your father, Rasoolallah Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam has brought some female slaves, so go and ask Him Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam for one of them to come and serve you.'' She Radi Allahu anha went to her Radi Allahu anha father, Rasoolallah Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam but she Radi Allahu anha felt too shy to ask Him Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam for what she Radi Allahu anha wanted. Hazrat Ali Radi Allahu anhu went and asked Rasoolallah Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam to provide a servant for his beloved daughter, but Rasoolallah Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam could not respond to those who most dear to Him Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam whilst ignoring the needs of the poor among the Muslims, so He Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam came to His Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam daughter and her Radi Allahu anha husband and said: ''Shall I not teach you something that is better than that for which you asked me? When you go to bed at night, say Subhanallah! thirty three times, Alhamdulillah! thirty three times, and Alla Hu Akbar! thirty-four times. This is better for you than a servant.''
Then He Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam bid them farewell and left.
(Muslim Shareef)

The true Muslim woman devotes herself to taking care of her house and husband. She knows her husbands rights over hers, and how great they are, as was confirmed by Rasoolallah Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam words: ''No human being is permitted to prostrate to another, but if this were permitted I would have ordered wives to prostrate to their husbands, because of the greatness of the rights they have over them.''

Allah Hu Akbar!

I remember once listening to a speech about the Husband, and the Maulana Sahib said, no matter how many Nafilee Ibaadat a woman does, how much she recites extra, how many Mehfils she attends, if a husband is displeased with her, then her efforts are useless! Allah Hu Akbar...this is the shaan of the Husband...that to which extent our Nabi e kareem, Hazoor e Paak, Hazrat Muhammad Mustafa Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam mentioned:''If I were to order anyone to prostrate to anyone else, I would have ordered women to prostrate to their husbands.''

Ya Allah! Khair Kare!

Fi Aminillah

Wa'alaykum 'Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

[Sohail]

get kettle on,
and can you slightly warm my slippers in microwave for 30 secs

[Noor e Naqshband]

Feb 2, 2009 23:06:20 GMT Sohail said:

get kettle on,
and can you slightly warm my slippers in microwave for 30 secs

I must say, I do feel ever so sorry for Mrs Sohail!

No worries Sweet Sister you should keep that pen and paper in hand, to note down the royal highnesess, next command ;D (just incase you forget)

[Naqshbandi]

''No human being is permitted to prostrate to another, but if this were permitted I would have ordered wives to prostrate to their husbands, because of the greatness of the rights they have over them.''

subhanallah.

[Sister Nomee]

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

Quite a debate going here.

Yes there are many hadiths for women how to treat and behave towards their husbands. I must stress some men I quote some men misuse these hadiths and treat their wives like slaves.

Islam has given each other various rights within a marriage, marriage itself is all about compromise and understanding.

There are also wonderful hadiths on how our Beloved Rasool Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam treated thier wives and helped around the house etc.

I am all for equality within a marriage, but bearing in mind that looking after the family, house, obeying ones husband (to a limit according to shariah) is rewarding and carries endless rewards inshAllah.

Wa'alaykum 'Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

[Sister Nomee]

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

ASALATU WASALAMU ALAYKA YA RASULLALLAH Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam

A forwarded email.

Tips for a Better Husband and Wife Relationship


Marriage In The Eyes of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala

It is very sad that this relationship which Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has established for the good has been made a source of contention, deception, trickery, tyranny, humiliation, and abuse. This is not the way marriage is supposed to be.

Do not be a Tyrant

Regardless of whether or not Islam has made the husband the head of the household, Muslims are not supposed to be dictators and tyrants. We are taught to treat our wives well. The Prophet Muhammad Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam was reported to have said: 'The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives" (From Mishkat al-Masabih, No. 0278(R) Transmitted by Tirmidhi).

Be Partners in the Decision Making Process.

Follow the principle of 'Shura," and make decisions as a family. There will be much more harmony in the family when decisions are not imposed and everyone feels that they had some part in making them.

Never be Emotionally

Never be emotionally, mentally, or physically abusive to your spouse. The Prophet Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam never mistreated his wives. He Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam is reported to have said: 'How could they beat their women in daytime as slaves and then sleep with them in the night?"

Be Careful of Your Words

Be very careful what you say when you are upset. Sometimes you will say things that you would never say when you were not angry. If you are angry, wait until you calm down before continuing the conversation.

Show Affection

Show affection for your mate. Be kind, gentle, and loving.

Be Your Spouse's Friend

Show interest in your mate's life. Too often, we live in the same house but know nothing about each other's lives.

Show Appreciation

Show appreciation for what your spouse does for the family. Never make your husband feel that he is not doing good enough for the family or that you are not satisfied with his work or his efforts, unless, of course, he is truly lazy and not even trying to provide for the family.

Work Together in the House

The Prophet Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam is known to have helped his wives in the house. And if the Prophet Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam was not above doing housework, modern Muslim husbands shouldn't feel that they are.

Communication is Important

Communication, Communication, Communication! This is the big word in counseling. And it should be. Husbands and wives need to talk to each other. It is better to deal with problems early and honestly than to let them pile up until an explosion occurs.

Forget Past Problems

Don't bring up past problems once they have been solved.

Live Simply

Don't be jealous of those who seem to be living a more luxurious life than your family. The 'rizq" is from Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala.

Admit Your Mistakes

When you make a mistake, admit it. When your mate makes a mistake, excuse him or her easily. If possible, never go to sleep angry with each other.

Good marriages require patience, kindness, humility, sacrifice, empathy, love, understanding, forgiveness, and hard work.

Wa'alaykum 'Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu[/b]

[Naqshbandi]

Feb 2, 2009 23:30:52 GMT Sister Nomee said:

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

Quite a debate going here.

Yes there are many hadiths for women how to treat and behave towards their husbands. I must stress some men I quote some men misuse these hadiths and treat their wives like slaves.

Islam has given each other various rights within a marriage, marriage itself is all about compromise and understanding.

There are also wonderful hadiths on how our Beloved Rasool Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam treated thier wives and helped around the house etc.

I am all for equality within a marriage, but bearing in mind that looking after the family, house, obeying ones husband (to a limit according to shariah) is rewarding and carries endless rewards inshAllah.

Wa'alaykum 'Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

I dont know why women get so defensive and start telling about a husbands role when the thread is about the wifes role and duty.

Um.. obeying ones husband is not just rewarding for the wife but it is her duty!

[adee]

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

well said brother....

Jazakallah Khair every one for sharin

[fatma]

Feb 2, 2009 22:04:23 GMT hal786 said:

jazakallah for ur views i do agree i think in the case presented i would totally agree that is pure laziness.

hope ur well
Take care
Alahfiz x

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

um sis i was only joking and really you should get what he asked for as it's more rewarding for you to do so.

[Sanam1]

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

Yes we must get obey our husbands with pleasure as we get so much sawaab for it.

naqshbandi bhai jaan we need to get defensive when brothers/MEN pick on us ;D

[Naqshbandi]

Obeying a husband is a MUST on the wife, as long as all the commandments are with in the shariah.
Jannat for a child is under the feet of the mother, and for the mother under the feet of her husband!

[Noor e Naqshband]

Subhanallah! Exactly what my Maulana Sahib said in their speech

[hal786]

Salaam sisters hope ur all well and in the best of health. This question seems to be a intresting question dont you all agree.Jazakallah Sisters for all your comments and views on this topic.







take care
alhafiz HALEEMA X