me and my husband

[concerned sister]

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

Imaam saab. I pray to Allah he keeps you in the best of health.

Last year i asked to a question regarding me and my marriage, we used to have constant arguements, and then in may, 2006 my husband left me pregnant with my second child and a 2yr old son.

He used to blame everything on me because his parents used to put pressure on him. However i have told him i was pregnant and that made him worse so he left.

But now he keeps on calling me and i think wants to get together again. He has not seen his daughter since she has been born (october). But he also wants me to make the first move.

I dont know what to do as his parents have never contacted me in relation to all this till date, i have found many black jado from his clothes previosly, from his father against me and my family.

He has no indefinate leave to remain in uk, so i am thinking maybe is trying to come back just for that. because if he cared for me and our kids then he would never of left.

I told him about the birth of our daughter, but he refused to come and see her.

I am scared about the fact that i have to remain on my own all my life, what if life gets tough when kids grow. How will i look after them when my parents and brothers are not there to help me.

On the other hand what if he comes and makes life like hell again.

Please please please help me.

I look forward to your answer. Jazakalla Khair.

Allah Hafiz.

[Imam]

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

Wa'alaykum 'Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu


All Praise be to Allah who is the Lord of the Worlds, and may Endless Blessings be showered upon His Most Beloved, and Final Messenger of Islam, Hadrat Muhammad Mustafa Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa 'aalihi wa Sallam


Jazak'allah for your question. Firstly I advise you to repent [towbah] and turn to Allah the Almighty for any mistakes that you may have made while your husband was with you. He may have left because of the pressure his parents were putting him under, and probably not because of the fact that you were pregnant. Him wanting to see you also raises the fact that you and your children are worthy of something for him, and he may want you to forgive him for his previous actions.


Although you are still married and fear the fact that you have to remain in the UK with your children on your own, it may be wise to consider calling your husband for a little while, and seeing what it would be like with him under the new circumstances.


Maybe he has changed and his parents do not influence him anymore, or maybe he just wants to see his childre? Whatever the case maybe you have to make a decision and decide what is best for you. Whether you want to get on in life with your husband and children, or whether you want to live in separation and fear for the rest of your life. There is nothing wrong with making the correct decision.



Wallahu A'lamu Biththawaab



M. Waseem Ashrafi