The Farmer, the Imam and Chicken Feathers

[shamshuddin]

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

Alhamduliallaahi Rabbil-'Aalameen wa-Salaatu wa-Salaamu 'alaa Ashrafil-Anbiyaa-e-wal-Mursaleen, wa ba'd.


The Farmer, the Imam and Chicken Feathers

This is a story about Abdul, a farmer who once unthinkingly spread tales slandering his friend. But later found the rumours to be false and hoped to make amends for the smut he had smeared on his friend's reputation.

He sought the counsel of an Imaam, a religious man, esteemed and wise, who heard the farmer's story through and felt he must advise. The kind Imaam said: "If you would have a mind again at peace, I have a plan whereby you may from trouble find release. Go fill a bag with chicken down (feathers) and to each dooryard go and lay one fluffy feather where the streams of gossip flow.

Abdul did as he was told and to the Imaam returned. Elated that his penance was a thing so quickly earned. "Not yet," the old Imaam said sternly, "Take up your bag once more and gather up the feathers that you placed at every door." Abdul, eager to atone, went hastening to obey, no feathers met his sight, the wind had blown them all away!!!

In her article "Smearing the Smut," Michelle Al-Nasr wrote the following: - quote: "Let us be realistic, everyone has gossiped to some extent. Not many can claim perfection in this department. But some of us, more than others - and you know who you are - make it a career to smear smut about everyone and to everyone.

There is a difference between idle talk and gossiping; and a big difference between gossiping and spreading smut. So first, let us sort out the who's who in the group of the gap.

Different people, of course, fall into different categories. There are The Babblers: who like only to hear themselves talk, and never let you get a word in edgewise. I tend to be one of these types, Allah help me! Then, there are The What-ifs: people who like to contemplate what could have been. Next, there are The Reminiscers: people who like to talk about stuff that already happened over and over. You also have The Optimists and The Pessimists: their names are pretty self-explanatory. Finally, you have the last two categories, namely and by far the worst of the bunch: The Gossipmongers and The Smutsmearers.

In order to understand where people are coming from, even when looking to our own actions, we have to begin by asking the question of: why?

Why do people, or do I, hurt others by spreading gossip and slander?

To answer that question, we need to bring about some understanding. It is important to understand that The Gossipmongers gossip to fulfill a need.

Their need covers two reasons:

a) Their need for attention, or,
b) Their need for interest in their lives

That is it, these are the main reasons why people gossip, just something to talk about. Most of all, it makes someone feel important to spread gossip and stories because they are the newsmakers. This all seems harmless enough, that is, if it does not hurt others right? Well, not always and not exactly. Because, by passing on tales of others, you slowly lose your standards and sometimes just slip. Have you ever left a conversation in regret, wishing you had not told some confidential information confided to you?

Many of us have, regrettably so because it is too easy to get wrapped up in the moment. So, if you ever find yourself with The Gossipmongers - whether you are being one or listening to one - what should you do?

We know that the Prophet, Sall Allahu `alayhi wa sallam taught us that, "Whosoever of you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able to do so, then with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then with his heart; and that is the weakest of faith." (Muslim). Say something, change the subject, and alter the focus-put the art of interruption into practice. If, for any reason, you can not say something then get up and walk away. You will feel better for it.

contd..

[shamshuddin]

Apologies for the length, but please read the full explanation

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Now, let us move on to the last category, The Smutsmearers, These are the worst of the worst. The Smutsmearers make up stories, spread nasty rumors and do not care if they hurt anyone in the process-their ultimate goal is to hurt someone's feelings.

The Smutsmearers do what they do for one reason only: they hate themselves and lash out at others to make up for their own shortcomings. There is no other reason; it comes from hurt they want to share with others. This way, in their pain, they will not be alone; and they will do anything to take the attention away from themselves so no one will notice their flaws. Take a close look at a certified Smutsmearer and you will not find a happy person, I guarantee it.

If you ever find yourself in this category, you need to take a cold hard look in the mirror and ask yourself why you would want to hurt others and spread lies, and also asks why you do not like yourself. Then you need to find a way to make some changes for the better, or it will get worse. So, how do you deal with a Smutsmearer? The answer is simple: you do not.

You do not deal with them at all. You make certain that they are not a part of your circle of friends. Why? Because, if your circle of friends contains one Smutsmearer, you too will one day enter the realm of telling fiendish fables that will inevitably do someone great emotional damage. So, which category of conversation will it be? It all starts and ends with you." - unquote. (Source: Al Jumu'ah Vol. 14 Issue 12)

An excerpt from the Al-Bayaan magazine, issue #152, p. 138, the author, Badr al-Suhayl wrote the following: - quote: "Many Muslims show a great deal of piety by refraining from eating imported meats, especially tinned meat; they are very cautious about this matter for fear that it may have been slaughtered in a manner that goes against shari’ah. This is a commendable effort, but there are other kinds of meat which are so subtle that even the pious do not detect them and the cautious do not spot them. The reason for that is that the meat which they want to avoid is visible and tangible, nothing is hidden from those who keep watch because the one who eats it will be seen doing so, whilst this is not the case with regard to the other, but both of them are described as eating. Allah Subhanhu wa Ta'ala says in Soorah al-Hujurat 49:12 (interpretation of the meaning):

"Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother?” (referring to human flesh, i.e., gossip).

Yes, this is what Allah Subhanahu wa Ta`aala calls it: “Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother?” There is a great deal of evidence to show that it is haraam, to point out how dangerous it is and to demonstrate the abhorrence of being caught indulging in this sin. It was narrated that Ibn Mas’ood said: “We were with the Prophet Sall Allahu`alayhi wa sallam when a man got up and left. Immediately another man spoke disparagingly of him. The Prophet Sall Allahu `alayhi wa sallam said to him: ‘Clean between your teeth.’ He asked, ‘Why do I need to clean between my teeth? I have not eaten any meat.’ The Prophet Sall Allaau `alayhi wa sallam said, ‘You have eaten your brother’s flesh.’” - unquote.

Al-Hasan Al-Basree (rahimahullaah) said, “Whoever does not guard the slips of their tongue has not understood their Deen." So, if you find yourself unable to do three things, then you do three (other) things: if you cannot do good, then stop doing evil; if you cannot benefit people, then do not harm them; if you cannot fast, then do not eat the flesh of the people.

If there is one thing that you remember after reading this, let it be the following commandment of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala, memorise it and teach it to at least one other person: (the translation of the meaning)

"Not a word does he utter, except there is a sentinel (angel) by him, ready (to record it)." (Soorah Qaf 50:18)

Fee Amanillah

(Source: Al Jumu'ah Vol. 14 Issue 12)

[Hafeez]

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

mashallah, it could not have been stated any bettter, the qoute below really says it all for me

To answer that question, we need to bring about some
understanding. It is important to understand that The Gossipmongers gossip to fulfill a need.

Their need covers two reasons:

a) Their need for attention, or,
b) Their need for interest in their lives

[suhayb]

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

A good post, I don't think we really comprehend the seriousness of backbiting and gossip so it's good to have this reminder.

I rememeber hearing a Hadith where the Beloved Messenger (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) asked the companions to fast on a certain day. A man came to the Prophet (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) and asked if it was okay for his daughters to end their fast as it had gone past Maghrib time and they were still fasting. The Prophet (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) informed the man that his daughters had not been fasting. The man assured the Prophet (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) that they had? The Prophet (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) gave the man a bowl and asked him to take it to his daughters and ask them to vomit in the bowl The man did as was asked and was suprised to see his daughters vomit up what looked like meat. The Prophet (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) informed the man that this was the flesh of the people his daughters had been backbiting that day. Allahu Akbar.

I'm sorry I don't know the Hadith exactly it was just something I heard in a lecture, may Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) forgive me if I have misquoted anything or said anything wrong.

This Hadith has always stuck with me although I have to admit I still fall into the trap of gossiping, may Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) forgive me and help us all to be better Muslims. Ameen.

Fi Amanillah

[Ashiq e Rasool]

shamshuddin said:

If you ever find yourself in this category, you need to take a cold hard look in the mirror and ask yourself why you would want to hurt others and spread lies, and also asks why you do not like yourself. Then you need to find a way to make some changes for the better, or it will get worse. So, how do you deal with a Smutsmearer? The answer is simple: you do not.

You do not deal with them at all. You make certain that they are not a part of your circle of friends. Why? Because, if your circle of friends contains one Smutsmearer, you too will one day enter the realm of telling fiendish fables that will inevitably do someone great emotional damage. So, which category of conversation will it be? It all starts and ends with you." - unquote. (Source: Al Jumu'ah Vol. 14 Issue 12)

Alhamdolillah! A brilliant thread even though long but worth while.
Some great advice given!
Slander, backbiting, false accusations,etc... are all very big sins, but sadly in these days, the world thrives on it. And it sells. It is actually making money, news without scandal is a rarity.

Media is full of it, and bringing someone down seems to be the in thing at the moment. The best way is not two associate yourself with slander and gossip mongers and that way we too are keeping away from sin.

[Qadiri Ashrafi]

suhayb said:

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

A good post, I don't think we really comprehend the seriousness of backbiting and gossip so it's good to have this reminder.

I rememeber hearing a Hadith where the Beloved Messenger (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) asked the companions to fast on a certain day. A man came to the Prophet (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) and asked if it was okay for his daughters to end their fast as it had gone past Maghrib time and they were still fasting. The Prophet (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) informed the man that his daughters had not been fasting. The man assured the Prophet (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) that they had? The Prophet (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) gave the man a bowl and asked him to take it to his daughters and ask them to vomit in the bowl The man did as was asked and was suprised to see his daughters vomit up what looked like meat. The Prophet (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) informed the man that this was the flesh of the people his daughters had been backbiting that day. Allahu Akbar.

I'm sorry I don't know the Hadith exactly it was just something I heard in a lecture, may Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) forgive me if I have misquoted anything or said anything wrong.

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

This is the ahadith you are referring to Suhayb.

This occured during the Meraj-un-Nabi (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam)

Rasoolullah (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) was shown a group of people getting punished. These individuals had a very long sword like nails, which they were piercing into their intestines and then eating their flesh. Rasoolullah (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) enquired as to why these individuals were receiving such a terrible punishment. Jibreel (alayhis 'salam) informed Rasoolullah (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam), “ These are those individuals who ate the meat of others in the dunya.”

“Allah Ta’ala has stated that backbiting is equivalent to eating flesh of ones brother. This is one of the illnesses of the soul. “

“It is stated in a hadith that if you gather all the worship of man onto one side of the scale and place one instance of backbiting on the other, the backbiting will outweigh the worship.”

[Shiraz Ashrafi]

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

Before I started to pray namaaz, I did too backbite ALOT (still do now) but now I prefer to stay away from people who backbite as if it was their main job

[Salman]

shirazchughtai said:

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

Before I started to pray namaaz, I did too backbite ALOT (still do now) but now I prefer to stay away from people who backbite as if it was their main job

We have all been guitly of ghibat at one or other in our lives. May Allah give us towfiq to see all of his creation with respect and adab and not find highlight errors.

[suhayb]

prestonashrafi said:

suhayb said:

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

A good post, I don't think we really comprehend the seriousness of backbiting and gossip so it's good to have this reminder.

I rememeber hearing a Hadith where the Beloved Messenger (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) asked the companions to fast on a certain day. A man came to the Prophet (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) and asked if it was okay for his daughters to end their fast as it had gone past Maghrib time and they were still fasting. The Prophet (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) informed the man that his daughters had not been fasting. The man assured the Prophet (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) that they had? The Prophet (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) gave the man a bowl and asked him to take it to his daughters and ask them to vomit in the bowl The man did as was asked and was suprised to see his daughters vomit up what looked like meat. The Prophet (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) informed the man that this was the flesh of the people his daughters had been backbiting that day. Allahu Akbar.

I'm sorry I don't know the Hadith exactly it was just something I heard in a lecture, may Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) forgive me if I have misquoted anything or said anything wrong.

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

This is the ahadith you are referring to Suhayb.

This occured during the Meraj-un-Nabi (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam)

Rasoolullah (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) was shown a group of people getting punished. These individuals had a very long sword like nails, which they were piercing into their intestines and then eating their flesh. Rasoolullah (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) enquired as to why these individuals were receiving such a terrible punishment. Jibreel (alayhis 'salam) informed Rasoolullah (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam), “ These are those individuals who ate the meat of others in the dunya.”

“Allah Ta’ala has stated that backbiting is equivalent to eating flesh of ones brother. This is one of the illnesses of the soul. “

“It is stated in a hadith that if you gather all the worship of man onto one side of the scale and place one instance of backbiting on the other, the backbiting will outweigh the worship.”

That's not the Hadith I was refering to but it highlights the seriousness of backbiting all the same. Jazak Allah Khair for sharing it.

Fi Amanillah

[Muhammad Sadiq]

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

Gheebat is a grave sin. We mustnt allow ourselves to be caught in others gossip and slander. Keeping our heart pure with fresh wudu and salah is surely the best way.

May Allah make strengthen our imaan and make it easier for us so we do truly beleive each other muslim as a brother.