Adoption in Islam

[raisa]

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

Since I've been a small girl, I have been thinking of adopting an orphan. I'm not married yet, but I would like to adopt if I am married. I've read that if the baby doesn't get breastfed by the mom, non-mahram rules apply to it. So if it's a boy, the mom has to wear a scarf when the boy gets in puberty. I've also read that if you adopt a child, you have to tell him that he is adopted and you can't change his name. Can't we change his last name either? How and when do we tell an orphan that he is not our child. What should we do to prevent other (own blood) kids to bully the child. Is it a gunaah if the orphan feels alone. Is it a gunaah if you're not that good of an example for the orphan? I would really like to adopt a child, but I'm scared what if I'm not that good of islamic example for him. Will the parents be double responsible if the child goes wrong? I live in the West, so I'm scared about that too. Could you answer my questions and tell me something generally about adoption in Islam. What does Islam say about it. And can you give advises on how to raise such a child. Thank you in advance !

Allah hafiz

[Imam]

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

Wa'alaykum 'Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu


Praise be to Allah, who is the Lord of the Worlds, and may Endless Blessings be showered upon Our Last, and Most Beloved Messenger of Islam Hadrat Muhammad Mustafa (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam)


Dear Sister in Islam, Jazak'Allah for your valued question. May Allah the Almighty give most women if not all, the tawfiq of adopting children, who have the need of being adopted. Some women may want to adopt children as they will not have children, others may want to adopt children as they have a passion for adopting children.


In any of the above cases, it was Hadrat Halimah (Radi Allahu ta'ala anha), who had taken the responsibility of breast feeding and looking after the Most Beloved Messenger of Allah (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam), when He was an infant, as the Messenger of Allah (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam)'s real parents, i.e. Hadrat 'Abdullah (Radi Allahu ta'ala anhu) had passed away, and His mother Hadrat Aminah (Radi Allahu ta'ala anha) was not wealthy.


It was a common tradition among the Arabs, and is a tradition in some parts of the world today, that when a child is born, he is given to a maid, to be breast fed, and looked after, especially among those families that are not wealthy, and are poor. In this sense, it is probably correct to say that it is a Sunnah of the Most Beloved Messenger of Allah (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam), to be adopted, as an infant.


As regards to wearing a scarf when the child reaches puberty, then this is not a major issue. The issue is that although women are supposed to have their hair covered from all non-mahram men, nevertheless, this will apply to the woman who has breast fed the child, and not his actual mother, Although the mother should have no reason not to cover her hair from any body, as they get older and wiser.


When a child has been adopted, or for that sake not adopted, then although his name shall remain the original name he was born with, he is allowed to change his name, or make ammendments to his name, or make additions to his name, when and as he pleases, so long as those names are Islamic names, and are added for the sake of benefit, and not detriment.


An orphan does not need to know that he is the child of so and so, and has been adopted by so and so. To tell him while he is an infant, is a deprivation of him feeling normal, while he is a child. The child may become lonely, disheartened, and sad, whereas it is the duty of parents to keep their children, whether they are adopted or not, happy, and in good care.


As the child grows older, and reaches passed his age of puberty, it is allowed for the parents to tell him who his real father was, who his real mother was, who his brothers and sisters were, and that what the reason was for his adoption. However, this should not be done, at such an early age, where the child may feel dismay.


An adopted child will be treated as your own child, therefore, he will not be told that he is not the child of his (foster) parents, but will be told that he is the child of so and so, and has been brought up with the permission of his real parents.


The adopted child shall be treated equally to all other children in the family. Just as the parents shall not tell the child his original position at an early age, similarly, they will not allow other children in the family to find out that child (a) has been adopted. This would be foolish upon the part of the (foster) parents of the child, as the child will be treated equally, and fairly, as their own. This is one of the reasons why the child may be bullied, yet we have to prevent him from being bullied.


The parents should be perfect examples of Islam for all children. They should often engage themselves in the dhikr of Allah, and salaah, in front of all children whether adopted or non adopted. They should teach their children about the religion of Islam, and should bring all their children up according to the shar'iyyah. This will prevent the parents from becoming bad examples for their children, whether they are adopted or not.


All Muslims have a responsibility of being good examples to one another. This is the reason why the brotherhood of Islam exists. However, you have to do more than your normal duty for children that are adopted in Islam, as they are firstly your child, and secondly, you must bring them up according to the religion of Islam. This can only happen when we as parents, live our lives according to what Allah has commanded us to do, and prevent from all those things, which He has prohibited us to do.


By showing children how to recite the Qur'an al kareem, learn Arabic, perform salaah, keep fasts, perform wudhu', ghusl, keep clean, keep our houses clean, and by spreading the religion of Islam, we shall be fulfilling our duty.


May Allah the Almighty help us all to bring our children up according to the standards that Islam has precribed to us, and may He prevent us from bringing our children up in wrong societies, amongst wrong people, and with wrong teachings.



Wallahu A'lamu Biththawaab



M. Waseem Ashrafi