Nikah related question

[Jazak'Allah]

Asalamualikum Imam Sahib,


ashraf786.proboards15.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=marriage&thread=15577&page=1#134297

I wrote a thread before with a subject as Nikah. You had answered by question; however, one part of it was left unanswered. The part where I asked, what happens after the nikah if our parents do not seem to agree? Do we perform a certain way to break the marriage? or shall we need to carry it on? what happens? Ofcourse, there is umeed that Allah will help us out, however, I would like to know if the parents do not seem to agree, then what are we suppose to do? I would highly appreciate it, if you could elaborate on this issue for me as it is a very sensitive issue in Islam.

Jazak'Allah

Regards,

Muslim Sister

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[Imam]

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

Wa'alaykum 'Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu


All Praise be to Allah who is the Lord of the Worlds, and may Endless Blessings be showered upon His Most Beloved, and Final Messenger of Islam, Hadrat Muhammad Mustafa Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa 'aalihi wa Sallam

It was unintentional that I left part of your question unanswered, but I will try by utmost best to try and solve your problem. May Allah the Almighty give us all the opportunity to persevere, and be patient, until that occurs which He Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has ordained for us.

Normally there should be no problem for parents to not disagree, as prior to the marriage, it is often normal to consult either of the parents, and gain their blessing, during the marriage.

However, if this is not the case, and marriage has been taken place, then there is very little the parents can do, once the marriage has taken place, and both husband and wife are happy to live with each other. They should never try to enforce a divorce, due to their own personal reasons, or desires, as this is one of the most disliked acts, by Allah the Almighty, that is the act of divorce.

If you and your partner are happy in being married, then there should be no reason whatsoever, for you to terminate the marriage, for the reason stated above. If however, there is a choice between being married together and being happy, or to please your parents, then both of these are important, as:

'an nikahu sunnati fa man ragiba 'an sunnati fa laysam minni'

'Nikah is my sunnah, whosoever turns away from my sunnah, is not from me'

clearly states. In relation to parents, it is stated that:

'wa bil walidayni ihsanaw'

'and be of service to your parents'.

Now we cant negate one from the other, because if we do we will be held liable on the Day of Judgement, for neglecting one from the other, and that is impossible.

It is imperative that you hold your marriage to be valid, and it will be binding upon you, for not giving a illegitimate divorce, without having any valid reason for doing so. Similarly, there is also the notion that you please your parents, and be of service to them, for the sake and pleasure of Allah the Almighty. If these things are observed, then Insha'Allah they will benefit you not only in this world, but also in the Hereafter.

Some people rush to make decisions which would otherwise have an adverse effect on their lives. This is why in Islam, it is sunnah to make consultation (mashwara), with either parents, friends, scholars, or other people whom would otherwise give you good advice.

It is when people let their emotions and desire take over their decision making process, that afterwards may result in neglect, or the wrong decision being made, had they not had made the correct consultation. That is why to make consultation is very important in Islam. Examples of this can be seen many a time in the life of the Beloved Messenger of Allah Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam, in cases of expeditions, and at other times, when you study His Beloved sirah.

If the decision has to made to chose between your parents and your marriage, then it is best not to negate any of them, as they are both acts which are prescribed by Allah the Almighty, and His Beloved Messenger Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam. It is best to let the dust settle, and let time pass by for some time, and then see if it has made a difference to your parents views.

With the correct acts of worship and devotion, insha'Allah, Allah the Almighty may turn the hearts of your parents, in your favour, but this is due to the lapse of time, correct supplication and prayer, and avoidance of making or committing any false acts.

In the event of nothing being worked out, you are welcome to post again, and pose further questions, Insha'Allah I will do my best to look for a solution for you.




Jazak'allah for your question.





Wallahu A'lamu Biththawaab


M. Waseem Ashrafi