Divorce Issue

[saadia]

Assalamu Alaykum,

I am a married women and living in a joint family. I need guidance as I am facing an issue of divorce which is as follows:

> I got married on 16th of March 2008.
1. In the beginning of April 2008, my husband pronounced the first divorce while i was having periods and we were alone in the room. We reconciliated in 2 days
2. In the end of April 2008, he gave me 2nd divorce in extreme anger due to a family dispute. On that day I hadn't taken bath after last night's marital activity. We reconciliated in few hours
3. On 31st May 2008, we had a fight due to a family matter and we both were angry. This time i went insane too and without understanding what i am saying I asked him to divorce and he gave me a third divorce (more than 9 or 10 times) unwillingly ( without wanting to leave me) under this pressure and anger upon my demand. I was totally insane at that time when and whom I was asking this and wasn't aware of what I was asking for. After few days we found out that I am pregnant and we reconciliated in a week
4. On 29th of July due to family dispute we had a quarell and we started living separately. He sent me a tripple divorce in writing on 9th of September 2008 while I am pregnant. Later on he repented very much for his action and on 15th of October he asked me if we could reconciliate

Sir its just that we both love each other very much. We have now identified the cause of dispute which always is based on misunderstandings and we both want to reconciliate desperately especially for our child so please tell us if there is any way for us both to reconciliate.

[Imam]

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

Wa'alaykum 'Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu


All Praise be to Allah who is the Lord of the Worlds, and may Endless Blessings be showered upon His Most Beloved, and Final Messenger of Islam, Hadrat Muhammad Mustafa Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa 'aalihi wa Sallam

According to the Islamic shar'iyyah, there is no way a husband and wife can reconciliate, after a divorce has been given three times or more, at any one occasion, in which the husband and wife agree, regardless of it being in a state of anger.

I have mentioned this previously, and I will mention it again, that one of the most dislikeable things in the eyes of the Almighty Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, is the giving of a divorce to a wife by the husband.

You stated that in 1, that your husband gave you a divorce, and within 2 days you reconciliated. That divorce has now no effect.

You stated that at the end of April, he gave you another divorce, this is also classed as not being a divorce, since you reconciliated, and made up within a few hours.

On the 31st May, you asked your husband to give you a divorce, and he did do 9-10 times. It is at this stage that those 9-10 divorces constitute as 3 divorces and are valid, as any sexual activity is now haram, and you must be seperated to live away from your husband, as he is no longer your husband, and you, no longer his wife.

The triple divorce of the 29th of July is also proof that you and your ex-husband are no longer married, and that any sexual activity, relations, meetings, or even conversation in private is now forbidden.

At this stage, there is no way for you to reconciliate with your husband, as he has now divorced you. You may not re-marry him as this would be the incorrect procedure, due to the rules of halalah.

Halalah is the only way which could be used in reconciling both of you, yet it is very frowned upon, and looked down on. However, I dont think that you would be willing to go through that procedure either.

All I can advise is that you repent in the eyes of the Almighty for any obstruction you have caused, and if the need be to choose another husband with the help of your brothers/sisters/relatives.

Your issue is not one which is escapable, as the consequences of your words must now have to be faced.

May Allah the Almighty protect us from the whims of our own desires, and may He give us everlasting understanding, to prevent such mistakes from happening.


Jazak'allah for your question.





Wallahu A'lamu Biththawaab


M. Waseem Ashrafi