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Post by Brother_Ibrar on Sept 15, 2010 9:48:50 GMT
Salam Alaikum everyone, hope you all had a good and relaxed Eid.
I was wondering if anyone could advise me on the following.
Recently through family friends my mum was trying to get me married to a girl from Pakistan, me being the person i am, let my mother as i don't have anything against arranged marriages, well the girl and i were told to meet, and we did, alhamdulillah we liked each other and everything was fine, her family was happy so as mine. but recently her father has gone against the idea as they believe that their daughter will suffer the same fate their eldest daughter suffered unfortunately (passed away shortly after giving birth due to poisoning) and on that basis they have distanced them self from this allegiance. The girl and i still like each other very much but her parents are under assumption that there daughter will be facing a lifetime of misery. Please advise...
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Bint e Attar
Senior Member
Duniya kare par tu na karna muj ko rad.. Ya Allah..
Posts: 4,310
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Post by Bint e Attar on Sept 15, 2010 10:53:29 GMT
Wa'alaykum 'Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa BarakatuhuSo what are they going to do.. keep her un-married for rest of her life..?? or was her sister married in ur family..??
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Post by Brother_Ibrar on Sept 15, 2010 11:01:24 GMT
Her sister was married within the family...from her mothers side, we are completely unrelated.
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Sayyedah 777
Senior Member
Apny ap ko mukamal tor pe Allah Pak k hawaly krden phr wo apky sath jo b kry ga Apna samjh k kry ga!
Posts: 2,518
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Post by Sayyedah 777 on Sept 15, 2010 12:16:25 GMT
Her sister was married within the family...from her mothers side, we are completely unrelated. Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhubut Brother , what were the actual causes of their eldest sis,,,,suffered from poisoning? was it due to genes(heredity )basis?
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Sayyedah 777
Senior Member
Apny ap ko mukamal tor pe Allah Pak k hawaly krden phr wo apky sath jo b kry ga Apna samjh k kry ga!
Posts: 2,518
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Post by Sayyedah 777 on Sept 15, 2010 12:19:15 GMT
lets suppose if this was due to the close family marriage(genes problems) and as you are saying that you and her family are completely unrelated ,,,then there are no chances,perhaps that their second daughter will be suffered from the same.....
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Post by Brother_Ibrar on Sept 15, 2010 12:53:11 GMT
Her sister passed away due to poison she was given (homicide case), I just understand why was the family fine with it before and all of a sudden when feelings have become strong from both camps, they want to drop out. To be on the safe side, i even done isthikhara, and only on getting a positive response, i further decided to be part of this arranged marriage. I dont see when i have gotten a positive response from the isthikhara, and the family were happy at first, especially her mother then what has happened now? The girls younger sister claims that the girl cannot seem to convince her father. Which has now left me, well in no-mans land :s.
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Bint e Attar
Senior Member
Duniya kare par tu na karna muj ko rad.. Ya Allah..
Posts: 4,310
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Post by Bint e Attar on Sept 15, 2010 13:22:24 GMT
Wa'alaykum 'Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa BarakatuhuIts strange... how long are they going to keep rejecting rishta's to protect their daughter.. unless they dont want her to get married at all.. Do u know any one who can talk sense to them.. i.e some elder.. whom they respect etc..
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Post by Brother_Ibrar on Sept 15, 2010 13:31:52 GMT
Well, i did speak to her mother and tried to ask the reasons as for why they agreed and now they disagree? but her mother got abit over the top and said please son stop pressuring us :s... and me being myself, i dont answer back to elders i just said (ok aunty as you wish) lol but hmmm i really do not know what to do. Ive asked her younger sister to try and talk some sense but she cannot as she is very scared of her father as is the girl. her mother has pretty much given up. I find that really bad behavior as its playing with ones emotions and life.
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Bint e Attar
Senior Member
Duniya kare par tu na karna muj ko rad.. Ya Allah..
Posts: 4,310
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Post by Bint e Attar on Sept 15, 2010 13:33:03 GMT
Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu
Dont worry abt it.. If its in kismat it will happen.. no matter what happens.. and if its not in kismat... then best thing would be to pray that.. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala takes u both out of this emotional phase..
Hmm my suggestion is to ask Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala for help.. if shez the best match for u out there.. and vice versa then InshaAllah Azwajal it will happen... no matter how many obstacles u have on ur path.. May Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala help u with it.. with the sadqah of His Habeeb Sallal Laahu Alayhi Wasallam and with the sadqah of Hazrat Ghouse Azam Radi Allahu Anhu.. Ameen Be-jaa-hin-Nabiyal Ameen Sallal Laahu Alayhi Wa Aalihi Wa Sallam..
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Post by Brother_Ibrar on Sept 15, 2010 13:37:56 GMT
It weird because we both have stopped contacting each other, but whenever her sister calls or texts she mentions how hard shes finding it....
Is there any specific dua i could read to help resolve this matter in which ever direction it is to head?
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Sayyedah 777
Senior Member
Apny ap ko mukamal tor pe Allah Pak k hawaly krden phr wo apky sath jo b kry ga Apna samjh k kry ga!
Posts: 2,518
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Post by Sayyedah 777 on Sept 15, 2010 14:08:09 GMT
Well, i did speak to her mother and tried to ask the reasons as for why they agreed and now they disagree? but her mother got abit over the top and said please son stop pressuring us :s... and me being myself, i dont answer back to elders i just said (ok aunty as you wish) lol but hmmm i really do not know what to do. Ive asked her younger sister to try and talk some sense but she cannot as she is very scared of her father as is the girl. her mother has pretty much given up. I find that really bad behavior as its playing with ones emotions and life. after reading all about it...... there is must some other reason behind,,,,,for which they are disagreed now.but they are just using that lame excuse......
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Sayyedah 777
Senior Member
Apny ap ko mukamal tor pe Allah Pak k hawaly krden phr wo apky sath jo b kry ga Apna samjh k kry ga!
Posts: 2,518
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Post by Sayyedah 777 on Sept 15, 2010 14:13:36 GMT
Anyways I do Agree wath all above as , Sis Bint e Attar has pionted out,,,,if she is in your luck,,,then no one can abstain you to do Nikaah with her, and Allah Knows the best..no doubt. but at that time the need is that you should just have to pray Allah Subhaanahu Wa Ta'ala make your matter easy for you with his will.because Allah's will and wish is the best.and in every matter of our life which is happening in our lives,,,,there is nothing except the betterment,,,either we understand it or not.
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Post by Brother_Ibrar on Sept 15, 2010 14:13:49 GMT
I assume that aswell, although her sister did say that her father holds the girls mother responsible for the loss of the eldest daughter because she got married someone from her side of the family and now the father wants the daughter to get married in his side of the family :S.....typical pakistani attitude
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Sayyedah 777
Senior Member
Apny ap ko mukamal tor pe Allah Pak k hawaly krden phr wo apky sath jo b kry ga Apna samjh k kry ga!
Posts: 2,518
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Post by Sayyedah 777 on Sept 15, 2010 14:19:52 GMT
I assume that aswell, although her sister did say that her father holds the girls mother responsible for the loss of the eldest daughter because she got married someone from her side of the family and now the father wants the daughter to get married in his side of the family :S.....typical pakistani attitude hmmm , perhaps that is the actual point ,,you have got it Brother with the grace and mercy of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala.....so the best thing is to not to overwhelmed youself, and be relaxed and chill please. may be there is betterment for you,,,,you both people are not well matched with each other...or may be some other reason,,,which we people do not know but Allah knwos the best. just pray and leave everything In Allah's hand, he will surely make your matter easy for you,,,because he will never ever disappoint his slaves(humans).and he loves us more than the love of 70 mothers....we cannot measure his love and mercy...no doubt he is the most merciful and best planner and beneficient.
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Post by Brother_Ibrar on Sept 15, 2010 14:23:06 GMT
Inshallah Ameen. Im still a newbie on the forum so please do forgive me if i make a mistake or do not follow forum regulations properly
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Sayyedah 777
Senior Member
Apny ap ko mukamal tor pe Allah Pak k hawaly krden phr wo apky sath jo b kry ga Apna samjh k kry ga!
Posts: 2,518
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Post by Sayyedah 777 on Sept 15, 2010 14:30:03 GMT
It weird because we both have stopped contacting each other, but whenever her sister calls or texts she mentions how hard shes finding it.... Is there any specific dua i could read to help resolve this matter in which ever direction it is to head? for making Dua that Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala make your matter easy for you according to his own will, because Allah's will is the best , as you know.....we are humans and , at the moment we became emotional and impatient but with the passage of time we realize that how beneficial decisions make by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala for us. you can consult Dua & Daroods section , from where you can find nice wirds to request to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala to gain his mercy in the best manner according to his will. ashraf786.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=duas
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Sayyedah 777
Senior Member
Apny ap ko mukamal tor pe Allah Pak k hawaly krden phr wo apky sath jo b kry ga Apna samjh k kry ga!
Posts: 2,518
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Post by Sayyedah 777 on Sept 15, 2010 14:32:14 GMT
Inshallah Ameen. Im still a newbie on the forum so please do forgive me if i make a mistake or do not follow forum regulations properly no offence is made by you Brother. May Allah Subhaanahu Wa Ta'ala make your matter very easy for you and will show right path for you ,Insha Allah Azzawajal With the Blessed Waseelah Of Habib Pak Sallal Laahu Ta'ala Alayhi Wa Aalihi Wa Sallam. Aameen Ya Rabbal Aalmin , Ya Mjeebuddawaat , Ya Samiud-dua,Wa Ya Ahamarrahimin. Sallu Alal Habib Salli Ala Muhammad Sallal Laahu Ta'ala Alayhi Wa Sallam.
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Bint e Attar
Senior Member
Duniya kare par tu na karna muj ko rad.. Ya Allah..
Posts: 4,310
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Post by Bint e Attar on Sept 15, 2010 14:35:21 GMT
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Sayyedah 777
Senior Member
Apny ap ko mukamal tor pe Allah Pak k hawaly krden phr wo apky sath jo b kry ga Apna samjh k kry ga!
Posts: 2,518
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Post by Sayyedah 777 on Sept 15, 2010 14:36:01 GMT
Inshallah Ameen. Im still a newbie on the forum so please do forgive me if i make a mistake or do not follow forum regulations properly onething..you did not choose the exact section to post your problem. because the actual place is that ashraf786.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=requests
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Post by Brother_Ibrar on Sept 15, 2010 14:36:12 GMT
Jazakallah khair, Mashallah everyone here is very sincere and honest. May Allah swt bless you all with the utmost happiness inshallah and allow us to strive in our aspirations in becoming better Muslims. Inshallah Ameen.
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