Post by hafeezanwar on Jul 16, 2013 23:14:08 GMT
Divorce / Separation: How to do Divorce:
How to Avoid Divorce: Keep giving positive smile and true love to your spouse. After all, your spouse is a human being and may do mistakes, so keep forgiving him.
The righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. (Al_Quraan_004.034)
Forgiveness is the key element to avoid Divorce and Allah loves it.
Anger is the Root of all Major Problems including Divorce:
… But consort with them in kindness, for if you hate them it may happen that you hate a thing wherein Allah has placed much good. (Al_Quraan_004.019).
Because of Anger a person may get stroke, heart attack, blood pressure, diabetes and many other dangerous diseases. So do you want to take any of those diseases because of the anger ordo you want to give any of those diseases to your spouse because of the anger? Remember if any of you gets a single disease like that the whole family suffers and the kids suffer the most.
Also a person may do many crimes in anger, like unjust and divorce. So, would you like to get the divorce due to that anger and make your children suffer or other unjust? Remember unjust is very dangerous. Since Allah already warned that any one who do unjust he is a Disbeliever (Ref: Al_Quraan_005.044).
A wife may be in the state of CURSE BY ANGELS till her husband comes out of his anger. Also during in the state of anger all their worships might not be accepted.
… Cause him to sleep in ANGER; the angels will curse her till morning (Bukhari Vol-4, Book-54, Hadith-460).
There may be some women and children who are men’s enemy, BUT women and children must AVOID to be in that group, since those may go to HELL for ever and ever only because of that silly act.
O you who believe! Lo! Among your wives and your children there are enemies for you, therefore beware of them. And if you efface and overlook and forgive, then lo! Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.(Al_Quraan_064.014)
Spouses must have love and mercy among them. Anger is not a love and mercy or rest.
And of his signs is this: He created for you helpmeets from yourselves that you might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, herein indeed are portents for folk who reflect. (Al_Quraan_030.021)
Possible Solutions to Anger:
Seek refuge in Allah, ask Allah for forgiveness and forgive and hug your spouse with love. It is human nature to become angry BUT don’t be angry from your spouse for more than 3 minutes, think positive and remember his kindness to help to forget the anger. Give SMILE and HUG with love and say sorry as well. May Allah protect all us from ANGER. AMEEN.
Women may take Separation: Women are not Slave:
And if a woman fears ill usage or desertion on the part of her husband, there is no blame on them, if they effect a reconciliation between them, and reconciliation is better, and avarice has been made to be present in the (people's) minds; and if you do good (to others) and guard (against evil), then surely Allah is aware of what you do. (Al_Quraan_004.128)
You are only allowed to Divorce, if she does not obey you according to Islaamic Laws. Also you are not allowed to keep her forcefully, if she does not want to live with you.
Step 1: First try to resolve verbally with talks and warn your wife.
Step 2: If still your wife does not obey you under Islaamic Laws then leave them alone in their bedroom and don’t share the bed for some periods.
Step 3: Final step is to beat them lightly, till she starts obeying you or you decided to do Divorce. Like, if a kid is doing wrong, you slap him, in such a way that he don’t do it again. Not on the face and don’t even try to break the bone, just for lesson.
Step 4: If still problem is not resolved, then you give First Divorce (Tillaaq) and declare it to close relatives of both sides.
Step 5: Keep your wife in your home, till she fulfills her term (Iddat). During this time you have right to forgive her and starts sharing bed. This will be First Divorce.
Step 6: If still the problem is not resolved then, you need to repeat Step1 through Step 5. Second or Third Time.
After Third time Divorce she will not be Halaal for you at all.
Divorce by Cooling off:
If one is silently separated even inside his home and not reconciling with his wife for four months, and his intention is to divorce on this separation, then it will count as one divorce. That is one of the main reason why many scholars do not recommend on working out of station and living there for more than three months without any valid reason. So try to find the work where you live with your family or at lease you can visit them within three months.
Those who intend to divorce their wives shall wait four months (cooling off); if they change their minds and reconcile, then GOD is Forgiver, Merciful. (Al_Quraan_002.226)
Men protectors and maintainers of Women:
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guarded. As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly). But if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). For Allah is Most High, Great (above you all). (Al_Quraan_004.034)
Responsibilities for close Relatives & Friends:
If you feel that there is some problem going on with husband and wife then, at least one person from husband side and one person from wife side should sit together and try to resolve all the issues.
And if you fear a breech between them twain (the man and wife), appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendment Allah will make them of one mind. Lo! Allah is ever Knower, Aware. (Al_Quraan_004.035)
Halaala: No Marriage is Marriage if it is temporary for fixed period of time.
In Islaam, marriage is a blessed permanent contract between a man and a woman for the whole life, in which each becomes “permitted” to the other, and they begin the long journey of life in a spirit of love, cooperation, harmony and tolerance, where each feels at ease with the other, and finds tranquility, contentment and comfort in the company of the other. The Quraan has described this relationship between men and women, which brings love, harmony, trust and compassion, in the most moving and eloquent terms:
Since Halaala is a Marriage for fixed period of time, ranging from few minutes to several years, so it is invalid and it is like Rape (Zina). Marriages are with Love, while Divorces are with Hate. No sincere husband can divorce her loving wife with love.
Sincere Advise to Sisters:
Be careful with the man made rules of Halaala (Temporary Marriage) and protect every sister from getting raped by this man made rules.
Waiting: Waiting Period for Women after Divorce or Death of a Husband.
Why Iddat (waiting period)?
And the divorced women should keep themselves in waiting for three courses; and it is not lawful for them that they should conceal what Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the last day; and their husbands have a better right to take them back in the meanwhile if they wish for reconciliation; and they have rights similar to those against them in a just manner, and the men are a degree above them, and Allah is Mighty, Wise. (Al_Quraan_002.228)
From the above Ayah, it very clear that the main perpose of the Iddat is to wait and see if she is pregnent or not. Waiting Period (Iddat) is variable according to cases. Also it is advised that people shoud hold the division of the Inheritance in case, the wife of the deceased could be pregnant. In this way we also will come to know if she delivers the boy/s or girl/s.
The Only Reason for Waiting Period & NOT the House Arrest:
Divorced Women or Widows might need to go for work otherwise they might loose their jobs or they might need to pick and drop their little kids from school, or they might need to fulfill other lawful duties. The main reason for waiting period is to show off what if they might have concealed and NOT the House Arrest. They already are in Great Loss and Suffering. Please do NOT torture them any more by putting them in House Arrest.
O you who believe! when you marry the believing women, then divorce them before you touch them, you have in their case NO TERM which you should reckon; so make some provision for them and send them forth a goodly sending forth. (Al_Quraan_033.049)
And divorced women should keep themselves in waiting for three menstruations; and it is not lawful for them that they should CONCEAL what Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the last day; and their husbands have a better right to take them back in the meanwhile if they wish for reconciliation; and they have rights similar to those against them in a just manner, and the men are a degree above them, and Allah is Mighty, Wise. (Al_Quraan_002.228)
As for the women who have reached menopause, if you have any doubts, their interim shall be three months. As for those who do not menstruate, and discover that they are PREGNANT, their interim ends upon giving birth. Anyone who reverences GOD, He makes everything easy for him. (Al_Quraan_065.004)
After Divorce:
And divorced women should keep themselves in waiting for THREE menstruations; and it is not lawful for them that they should conceal what Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the last day; and their husbands have a better right to take them back in the meanwhile if they wish for reconciliation; and they have rights similar to those against them in a just manner, and the men are a degree above them, and Allah is Mighty, Wise. (Al_Quraan_002.228)
Divorce is up to Two times:
Divorce may be (pronounced) TWICE, then keep (them) in good fellowship or let (them) go with kindness; and it is not lawful for you to take any part of what you have given them, unless both fear that they cannot keep within the limits of Allah; then if you fear that they cannot keep within the limits of Allah, there is no blame on them for what she gives up to become free thereby.These are the limits of Allah, so do not exceed them and whoever exceeds the limits of Allah these it is that are the unjust. (Al_Quraan_002.229)
And when you divorce women (up to two times) and they reach their prescribed time, then either retain them in good fellowship or set them free with liberality, and do not retain them for injury, so that you exceed the limits, and whoever does this, he indeed is unjust to his own soul; and do not take Allah's communications for a mockery, and remember the favor of Allah upon you, and that which He has revealed to you of the Book and the Wisdom, admonishing you thereby; and be careful (of your duty to) Allah, and know that Allah is the Knower of all things.(Al_Quraan_002.031)
NOT Lawful After Third Time Divorce:
So if he divorces her (for the THIRD time), she shall not be lawful to him afterwards until she marries (Permanently) another husband; then if he divorces her there is no blame on them both if they return to each other (by marriage), if they think that they can keep within the limits of Allah, and these are the limits of Allah which He makes clear for a people who know.(Al_Quraan_002.030)
And when you have divorced women and they have ended-- their term (of waiting), then do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree among themselves in a lawful manner; with this is admonished he among you who believes in Allah and the last day, this is more profitable and purer for you; and Allah knows while you do not know.(Al_Quraan_002.032)
And the mothers should suckle their children for two whole years for him who desires to make complete the time of suckling; and their maintenance and their clothing must be-- borne by the father according to usage; no soul shall have imposed upon it a duty but to the extent of its capacity; neither shall a mother be made to suffer harm on account of her child, nor a father on account of his child, and a similar duty (devolves) on the (father's) heir, but if both desire weaning by mutual consent and counsel, there is no blame on them, and if you wish to engage a wet-nurse for your children, there is no blame on you so long as you pay what you promised for according to usage; and be careful of (your duty to) Allah and know that Allah sees what you do. (Al_Quraan_002.033)
Why Iddat (waiting period)?
And the divorced women should keep themselves in waiting for three courses; and it is not lawful for them that they should conceal what Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the last day; and their husbands have a better right to take them back in the meanwhile if they wish for reconciliation; and they have rights similar to those against them in a just manner, and the men are a degree above them, and Allah is Mighty, Wise. (Al_Quraan_002.228)
From the above Ayah, it very clear that the main perpose of the Iddat is to wait and see if she is pregnent or not. Waiting Period (Iddat) is variable according to cases. Also it is advised that people shoud hold the division of the Inheritance in case, the wife of the deceased could be pregnant. In this way we also will come to know if she delivers the boy/s or girl/s.
Waiting Period for Woman whose Husband had Died:
And (as for) those of you who die and leave wives behind, they should keep themselves in waiting for FOUR months and TEN days; then when they have fully attained their term, there is no blame on you for what they do for themselves in a lawful manner; and Allah is aware of what you do. (Al_Quraan_002.033)
And those of you who die and leave wives behind, (make) a bequest in favor of their wives of maintenance for a year without turning (them) out, then if they themselves go away, there is no blame on you for what they do of lawful deeds by themselves, and Allah is Mighty, Wise. (Al_Quraan_002.040)
Waiting Period for Un-Touched Women:
O you who believe! when you marry the believing women, then divorce them before you touch them, you have in their case NO TERM which you should reckon; so make some provision for them and send them forth a goodly sending forth. (Al_Quraan_033.049)
Waiting Period for Other Women:
As for the women who have reached menopause, if you have any doubts, their interim shall be THREE months. As for those who do not menstruate, and discover that they are PREGNANT, theirinterim ends upon giving birth. Anyone who reverences GOD, He makes everything easy for him. (Al_Quraan_065.004)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dower: Muslim Man Always tries to Pay Dower to his Wife:
This message has been truncated
How to Avoid Divorce: Keep giving positive smile and true love to your spouse. After all, your spouse is a human being and may do mistakes, so keep forgiving him.
The righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. (Al_Quraan_004.034)
Forgiveness is the key element to avoid Divorce and Allah loves it.
Anger is the Root of all Major Problems including Divorce:
… But consort with them in kindness, for if you hate them it may happen that you hate a thing wherein Allah has placed much good. (Al_Quraan_004.019).
Because of Anger a person may get stroke, heart attack, blood pressure, diabetes and many other dangerous diseases. So do you want to take any of those diseases because of the anger ordo you want to give any of those diseases to your spouse because of the anger? Remember if any of you gets a single disease like that the whole family suffers and the kids suffer the most.
Also a person may do many crimes in anger, like unjust and divorce. So, would you like to get the divorce due to that anger and make your children suffer or other unjust? Remember unjust is very dangerous. Since Allah already warned that any one who do unjust he is a Disbeliever (Ref: Al_Quraan_005.044).
A wife may be in the state of CURSE BY ANGELS till her husband comes out of his anger. Also during in the state of anger all their worships might not be accepted.
… Cause him to sleep in ANGER; the angels will curse her till morning (Bukhari Vol-4, Book-54, Hadith-460).
There may be some women and children who are men’s enemy, BUT women and children must AVOID to be in that group, since those may go to HELL for ever and ever only because of that silly act.
O you who believe! Lo! Among your wives and your children there are enemies for you, therefore beware of them. And if you efface and overlook and forgive, then lo! Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.(Al_Quraan_064.014)
Spouses must have love and mercy among them. Anger is not a love and mercy or rest.
And of his signs is this: He created for you helpmeets from yourselves that you might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, herein indeed are portents for folk who reflect. (Al_Quraan_030.021)
Possible Solutions to Anger:
Seek refuge in Allah, ask Allah for forgiveness and forgive and hug your spouse with love. It is human nature to become angry BUT don’t be angry from your spouse for more than 3 minutes, think positive and remember his kindness to help to forget the anger. Give SMILE and HUG with love and say sorry as well. May Allah protect all us from ANGER. AMEEN.
Women may take Separation: Women are not Slave:
And if a woman fears ill usage or desertion on the part of her husband, there is no blame on them, if they effect a reconciliation between them, and reconciliation is better, and avarice has been made to be present in the (people's) minds; and if you do good (to others) and guard (against evil), then surely Allah is aware of what you do. (Al_Quraan_004.128)
You are only allowed to Divorce, if she does not obey you according to Islaamic Laws. Also you are not allowed to keep her forcefully, if she does not want to live with you.
Step 1: First try to resolve verbally with talks and warn your wife.
Step 2: If still your wife does not obey you under Islaamic Laws then leave them alone in their bedroom and don’t share the bed for some periods.
Step 3: Final step is to beat them lightly, till she starts obeying you or you decided to do Divorce. Like, if a kid is doing wrong, you slap him, in such a way that he don’t do it again. Not on the face and don’t even try to break the bone, just for lesson.
Step 4: If still problem is not resolved, then you give First Divorce (Tillaaq) and declare it to close relatives of both sides.
Step 5: Keep your wife in your home, till she fulfills her term (Iddat). During this time you have right to forgive her and starts sharing bed. This will be First Divorce.
Step 6: If still the problem is not resolved then, you need to repeat Step1 through Step 5. Second or Third Time.
After Third time Divorce she will not be Halaal for you at all.
Divorce by Cooling off:
If one is silently separated even inside his home and not reconciling with his wife for four months, and his intention is to divorce on this separation, then it will count as one divorce. That is one of the main reason why many scholars do not recommend on working out of station and living there for more than three months without any valid reason. So try to find the work where you live with your family or at lease you can visit them within three months.
Those who intend to divorce their wives shall wait four months (cooling off); if they change their minds and reconcile, then GOD is Forgiver, Merciful. (Al_Quraan_002.226)
Men protectors and maintainers of Women:
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guarded. As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly). But if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). For Allah is Most High, Great (above you all). (Al_Quraan_004.034)
Responsibilities for close Relatives & Friends:
If you feel that there is some problem going on with husband and wife then, at least one person from husband side and one person from wife side should sit together and try to resolve all the issues.
And if you fear a breech between them twain (the man and wife), appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendment Allah will make them of one mind. Lo! Allah is ever Knower, Aware. (Al_Quraan_004.035)
Halaala: No Marriage is Marriage if it is temporary for fixed period of time.
In Islaam, marriage is a blessed permanent contract between a man and a woman for the whole life, in which each becomes “permitted” to the other, and they begin the long journey of life in a spirit of love, cooperation, harmony and tolerance, where each feels at ease with the other, and finds tranquility, contentment and comfort in the company of the other. The Quraan has described this relationship between men and women, which brings love, harmony, trust and compassion, in the most moving and eloquent terms:
Since Halaala is a Marriage for fixed period of time, ranging from few minutes to several years, so it is invalid and it is like Rape (Zina). Marriages are with Love, while Divorces are with Hate. No sincere husband can divorce her loving wife with love.
Sincere Advise to Sisters:
Be careful with the man made rules of Halaala (Temporary Marriage) and protect every sister from getting raped by this man made rules.
Waiting: Waiting Period for Women after Divorce or Death of a Husband.
Why Iddat (waiting period)?
And the divorced women should keep themselves in waiting for three courses; and it is not lawful for them that they should conceal what Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the last day; and their husbands have a better right to take them back in the meanwhile if they wish for reconciliation; and they have rights similar to those against them in a just manner, and the men are a degree above them, and Allah is Mighty, Wise. (Al_Quraan_002.228)
From the above Ayah, it very clear that the main perpose of the Iddat is to wait and see if she is pregnent or not. Waiting Period (Iddat) is variable according to cases. Also it is advised that people shoud hold the division of the Inheritance in case, the wife of the deceased could be pregnant. In this way we also will come to know if she delivers the boy/s or girl/s.
The Only Reason for Waiting Period & NOT the House Arrest:
Divorced Women or Widows might need to go for work otherwise they might loose their jobs or they might need to pick and drop their little kids from school, or they might need to fulfill other lawful duties. The main reason for waiting period is to show off what if they might have concealed and NOT the House Arrest. They already are in Great Loss and Suffering. Please do NOT torture them any more by putting them in House Arrest.
O you who believe! when you marry the believing women, then divorce them before you touch them, you have in their case NO TERM which you should reckon; so make some provision for them and send them forth a goodly sending forth. (Al_Quraan_033.049)
And divorced women should keep themselves in waiting for three menstruations; and it is not lawful for them that they should CONCEAL what Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the last day; and their husbands have a better right to take them back in the meanwhile if they wish for reconciliation; and they have rights similar to those against them in a just manner, and the men are a degree above them, and Allah is Mighty, Wise. (Al_Quraan_002.228)
As for the women who have reached menopause, if you have any doubts, their interim shall be three months. As for those who do not menstruate, and discover that they are PREGNANT, their interim ends upon giving birth. Anyone who reverences GOD, He makes everything easy for him. (Al_Quraan_065.004)
After Divorce:
And divorced women should keep themselves in waiting for THREE menstruations; and it is not lawful for them that they should conceal what Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the last day; and their husbands have a better right to take them back in the meanwhile if they wish for reconciliation; and they have rights similar to those against them in a just manner, and the men are a degree above them, and Allah is Mighty, Wise. (Al_Quraan_002.228)
Divorce is up to Two times:
Divorce may be (pronounced) TWICE, then keep (them) in good fellowship or let (them) go with kindness; and it is not lawful for you to take any part of what you have given them, unless both fear that they cannot keep within the limits of Allah; then if you fear that they cannot keep within the limits of Allah, there is no blame on them for what she gives up to become free thereby.These are the limits of Allah, so do not exceed them and whoever exceeds the limits of Allah these it is that are the unjust. (Al_Quraan_002.229)
And when you divorce women (up to two times) and they reach their prescribed time, then either retain them in good fellowship or set them free with liberality, and do not retain them for injury, so that you exceed the limits, and whoever does this, he indeed is unjust to his own soul; and do not take Allah's communications for a mockery, and remember the favor of Allah upon you, and that which He has revealed to you of the Book and the Wisdom, admonishing you thereby; and be careful (of your duty to) Allah, and know that Allah is the Knower of all things.(Al_Quraan_002.031)
NOT Lawful After Third Time Divorce:
So if he divorces her (for the THIRD time), she shall not be lawful to him afterwards until she marries (Permanently) another husband; then if he divorces her there is no blame on them both if they return to each other (by marriage), if they think that they can keep within the limits of Allah, and these are the limits of Allah which He makes clear for a people who know.(Al_Quraan_002.030)
And when you have divorced women and they have ended-- their term (of waiting), then do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree among themselves in a lawful manner; with this is admonished he among you who believes in Allah and the last day, this is more profitable and purer for you; and Allah knows while you do not know.(Al_Quraan_002.032)
And the mothers should suckle their children for two whole years for him who desires to make complete the time of suckling; and their maintenance and their clothing must be-- borne by the father according to usage; no soul shall have imposed upon it a duty but to the extent of its capacity; neither shall a mother be made to suffer harm on account of her child, nor a father on account of his child, and a similar duty (devolves) on the (father's) heir, but if both desire weaning by mutual consent and counsel, there is no blame on them, and if you wish to engage a wet-nurse for your children, there is no blame on you so long as you pay what you promised for according to usage; and be careful of (your duty to) Allah and know that Allah sees what you do. (Al_Quraan_002.033)
Why Iddat (waiting period)?
And the divorced women should keep themselves in waiting for three courses; and it is not lawful for them that they should conceal what Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the last day; and their husbands have a better right to take them back in the meanwhile if they wish for reconciliation; and they have rights similar to those against them in a just manner, and the men are a degree above them, and Allah is Mighty, Wise. (Al_Quraan_002.228)
From the above Ayah, it very clear that the main perpose of the Iddat is to wait and see if she is pregnent or not. Waiting Period (Iddat) is variable according to cases. Also it is advised that people shoud hold the division of the Inheritance in case, the wife of the deceased could be pregnant. In this way we also will come to know if she delivers the boy/s or girl/s.
Waiting Period for Woman whose Husband had Died:
And (as for) those of you who die and leave wives behind, they should keep themselves in waiting for FOUR months and TEN days; then when they have fully attained their term, there is no blame on you for what they do for themselves in a lawful manner; and Allah is aware of what you do. (Al_Quraan_002.033)
And those of you who die and leave wives behind, (make) a bequest in favor of their wives of maintenance for a year without turning (them) out, then if they themselves go away, there is no blame on you for what they do of lawful deeds by themselves, and Allah is Mighty, Wise. (Al_Quraan_002.040)
Waiting Period for Un-Touched Women:
O you who believe! when you marry the believing women, then divorce them before you touch them, you have in their case NO TERM which you should reckon; so make some provision for them and send them forth a goodly sending forth. (Al_Quraan_033.049)
Waiting Period for Other Women:
As for the women who have reached menopause, if you have any doubts, their interim shall be THREE months. As for those who do not menstruate, and discover that they are PREGNANT, theirinterim ends upon giving birth. Anyone who reverences GOD, He makes everything easy for him. (Al_Quraan_065.004)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dower: Muslim Man Always tries to Pay Dower to his Wife:
This message has been truncated