Anger...

[Hasinah]

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

I was just very very carious on what one should do...


Anger is very high in the family. one second everyone will be happy , and the next, its horrible...the most unusual reasons effect our daily life. It feels as if Allah (the almighty) might be unhappy with my family, as for it feel like he hasnt blossomed his rehmat upon us... (May Allah have mercy on us). All this is pretty much a daily routine the anger, and madness that comes up. But one thing is really bugging me...my sister....

Shes older than I, about by 4yrs. I do everything in mind to keep her happy, since she gets aggrivated really quick, and quite tempered which scares me at times. But out of no where she will get extremely mad and upset, and yea I know when one is angered he is blind and such, but well heres an example...today at school as she is checking her email she is deleting history on the side, I questioned her why are u doing such, no one is going to go threw ur stuff, she said its my business , so i told her im not interfering with ur bizz do what u got to do...and she gave me 1/2 a second worth of a laughter... So i walked outside the library waiting for her to get done with her "business" she came outside of the library and walked passed me and kept walking (although our next class in 1hr was together)..quite angered I read the Kalma...and felt like crying, because I'm always trying to please her and she gets upset too quick. Ok anyway i got her food and placed it on her desk, (since i got to class b4 she did) she came and placed it back on mine. So i didnt say anything....after class we go home together, she called our ride, and walked towards where we get picked up. By the time I reached there ( i was slow and behind, in tears) she was gone, and so was our ride.... and here I am sitting in the library asking for u to give me guidance. What should I do?

Is there a surat, or dua I should read, something I can to pray for her to stay calm? or for me to gain strenght, is there a passage in the qur'an or a hadith that I can email her, so she can read it and reflect upon her doings, or if im at fault please do refer me to dua's and such.

Thanks...

[Imam]

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,



Praise be to Allah, Lord of all the Worlds, and numerous Blessings be upon our Master the Beloved Messenger (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam).



Dear Sister,


I am so saddened to hear the story that you told me about, concerning your sister. She should'nt have any form of grudge on anyone, on past events or issues, or issues that are minor, yet seem to inflict pain upon people.


The Beloved Prophet of Allah (Salla Allahu ta'ala alayhi wa Sallam) said in a hadith, that a believer is he, who is prevented to do harm by his hand or tongue to another believer. This means that no action should be such, or no word of mouth should be such, that if used, harms the other person. Once this prevention is active, then it is he/she who are the Muslims, and not those who do not prevent it.


I think, on a good day, if you were to explain this hadith-e-mubarikah to your sister, or even to the members of your family, undoubtedly they will listen to the common sense that derives from it, and they will want to know more. However, you must try and make sure, that you keep reminding them, but only at the right times. May Allah the Almighty help you in the good that you do. (Amin)


In another hadith-e-mubarikah, which is also significant to this hadith is that the Beloved Prophet of Allah (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) said that 'none of you is a believer, until he/she loves me more than his children, parents, and all the people.


The reason why this hadith is significant, because if you practice what the Beloved Messenger of Allah (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam), has told us to practice, and keep away from what He (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam), has told us to keep away from, then undoubtedly, we will be practicing the religion of Islam to the fullest, without any hesitation, and without any disregard for any of the ahadith mentioned above, or disregard for Allah the Almighty, nor any disregard for our parents. Did Allah the Almighty not say:-

'He does not speak by his desire, but only with what we reveal to Him'?

So if there is practice, in what the Beloved Messenger of Allah (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) says, then we have achieved our aim, objective, and goal.


One thing that you may recite, when you feel left alone, or when you feel there is no-one turning to you, listening to you, helping you, or caring about you, is the verse:

'la ilaha illa anta subhana ka inni kuntu minaz zalimin'

This was what Hadrat Yunus (Alayhis Salam) also prayed, and it is a verse of the Noble Qur'an. He prayed it while the whale had swallowed Hadrat Yunus (Alayhis Salam), when He was alone, in the darkness, with no-one to speak to. He recited this verse, and He soon found the the fish had re-gurgitated him, and found himself amongst men again.


Insha'Allah if you recite the above verse, you will soon find that what people once thought of you, will no longer be the same, and will have changed, so that their approach towards you will be different.


Jazakallah for the question that you had sent me. This is just a brief guide to whom Allah is a guide to. He guides whom He wills, and misguides whom He wills.



May Allah the Almighty protect all of us from the evils of the world, and may He keep His Mercy at our aid, at all times. (Amin).



Wallahu A'lamu Biththawaab



M. Waseem Ashrafi