Should he tell her mother

[aliahmad]

hi

I need to ask a question for my friend. He is 33 years old, Muslim, lives in Pakistan. He fell in love with a girl. She is 21 years old , Muslim and Pakistani. She moved to UK few years back and comes Pakistan to meet her father once a year. Girls’ parents are doctors and separated, but not divorced.Girls mother is a psychetrist now. She lives with her elder sister and mother in Uk. Girl's mother and sister know about their liking and are strictly against their marriage due to age difference.
Some time back they both had sexual intercourse. After that, the boy asked his parents to marry her. Boys’ parents asked girls mother but she refused and took girl emotionally away from the boy and to a limit that girl started hating that boy in a period of one year.
Then the boy talked to girl’s mother and explained that he is in love with the girl and wants to get married with her, but girl’s mother refused. The boy didn’t disclose the fact that they had sexual intercourse.

Now here is my question, should the boy tell girl’s mother that they had sexual intercourse and now they should get married?
If yes, then how boy should explain it to girls mother , while focusing on girls life after marriage?

Please also tell the way in which he should talk to her mother.
I will be grateful for the answer.Please mail answer to [e-mail]

Thank you.
Ali Ahmad

[Imam]

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

Wa'alaykum 'Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu


All Praise be to Allah who is the Lord of the Worlds, and may Endless Blessings be showered upon His Most Beloved, and Final Messenger of Islam, Hadrat Muhammad Mustafa Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa 'aalihi wa Sallam

First of all both people involved in the relationship should be made aware that what they had done was wrong, and contrary to the principles of the shar'iyyah.

Secondly, for them to progress any further, they must repent by making tawbah, and astaghfar, in the presence of the Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala. Nothing of a relationship can come into existence, after a sin has been made, when no repentance has been taken.

Once the above two points have been acted upon, only then is there a chance to see whether any of their parents are willing to give up their son/daughters hand, in the marriage of the other.

There doesnt seem to be any other way except to disclose to the parents that their relationship had gone so far, that marriage is the only option now, since many relationships before marriage of this kind, do have an impact on the parental decision.

Once this has been explained to the parents, a person should explain this, who has favour and understanding towards the parents, as he may be able to put this scenario before them, much better than he/she who has no relationship with the parents whatsoever.

You must find someone who is familiar with the parents mood, temperament, and honour, since the last thing you want to do is do dishonour, desrespect or demean the parents in any kind of way.

May Allah the Almighty, help us to repent from our sins sincerely, and may He put right for us, that, which He had ordained for us, so that our lives in this world, and the next may prosper. (Amin).


Jazak'allah for your question.





Wallahu A'lamu Biththawaab


M. Waseem Ashrafi