How do i encourage one who is 3assi Rabih?

[nalou]

Assalaamu Alaikum! I recently wrote regarding the 2nd wife syndrome... I just want to add that I didn't want to allow him to marry again because i WAS concerned that he wasn't in the right mind frame now and because he is 3assi Rabih that he would never be able to be fair. I really was concerned her life would be damaged by him and his faults! At the same time, i thought he would be her punishment for doing wrong with him in the first place. A3udhu billah! She knew what she was getting into because he admits to hitting her and she knows of his alcoholism. BUT he kept saying that maybe with the addition he would be forced to perform salaat and be good so ALLAH would be good to him! I know it doesn't work like that but in some weird way I believed it would change him and us as a whole. I thought this happened to me as a sign from ALLAH to run NOT walk away. That although his wrongs made me want to be right that he was no longer benifitting me in regards to deeni. I should also add that he no longer wants to marry because he has seen how it has upset me and how wrong it really would have been. I told him not to ever mention marriage again unless he performs the five pillars of islam.

So with all that said, I don't want to leave because i finally see how STUPID and LOST he really is and I feel that maybe this situation will help him see that ALLAH has blessed him with me and our two children and will begin to change. DOES ANY OF THIS MAKE SENSE? What's your islamic opinion of the above regarding a sign from ALLAH? What are some recommendations from the Quran or seerat al Nabi(SAW) that i may do to help encourage him to be a better muslim? And/or is it right for me to stay with him? P.S. He does NOT pray every fardh but he DOES pray for someone who dies and occasionally attend an EID prayer and friday Prayer!
Thank you for your response regarding my first post and look forward to your reponse to this one. Jazak ALLAH khair

[Imam]

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

Wa'alaykum 'Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu


All Praise be to Allah who is the Lord of the Worlds, and may Endless Blessings be showered upon His Most Beloved, and Final Messenger of Islam, Hadrat Muhammad Mustafa Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa 'aalihi wa Sallam

Thanks again.

I do have to admit that when both of you were married, he did pledge that he would keep away from all the bad things which would allow you and him to deteriorate. Since that was not the case, and you do not want to part from him, a duty lies upon you to tell him, what it is that is correct, and what it is that is false.

That if he doesnt quit is bad habits which are disallowed in Islam, then not only does a punishment lie for him in the next world, but also this world.

You really need to sit down and talk to him, as you seem to be a religious, understanding and patient person. It is not fair that such a fair person has to put up with someone who is so unislamic, does not adhere to the religion, and has no feeling for his immediate family whatsoever.

Alternatively, the decision is down to you, as to what it is that you want. Do you want him in your life, living the way you live it, or do you want someone who is more understanding, and sincere to his religion?


Jazak'allah for your question.





Wallahu A'lamu Biththawaab


M. Waseem Ashrafi