Revealing past sins to husband?

[akhan70]

Before my marriage, i dated a guy. i told my husband about it before we got married just so he would know from me and not find out later but i did not tell him the details as i had already repented to Allah and didn't think i should disclose it further. He also dated another girl and a physical relationship but i forgave him. now after we are married for almost 2 yrs, he has been pressuring me to tell him the details of my relationship. I had always followed the path of islam since a young age but when my mother passed away from illness, i became very hostile and rebellious. i did not commit adultery or even came close but i still had an inappropriate relationship for which i feel guilty and repent for everyday. my husband brings it up all the time and asked me to swear on the quran on every incident that took place. I was afraid of telling him the truth about everything as i thought it would have a bad impact on my marriage so i lied about a few things. later that night he had a horrible dream about me. when he told me about it, i felt it was a sign from Allah that i should tell him the truth. so i did. Later he still did not believe me and asked me to repeat everything again and swear that if i ever had a child, it would be born dead or challenged if i lied. although i tried to tell the truth, i may have been inaccurate about somethings as i did not remember. I worry that this topic will never end and regardless of me being a good wife to him and being religious and repenting for my evil deeds. i don't know what i should do or say to prevent this from ruining my life as nothing i do will convince him to stop doing this to me. i love him very much and don't want a divorce but sometimes i think that it might be better for us bc i can't deal with the issue any longer. he reminds me of my wrong doing at every opportunity and makes me feel used and dirty and tells me that i am a disgrace to my family. please advise on what i should do or if there are verses in the quran that i can show him to explain that he should no longer be questioning my past as it should only be a matter between me and allah swt. what is the consequence of me lieing on the quran and what should i do to be forgiven for it? please respond as i am very stressed about the matter.

[Imam]

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

Wa'alaykum 'Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu


All Praise be to Allah who is the Lord of the Worlds, and may Endless Blessings be showered upon His Most Beloved, and Final Messenger of Islam, Hadrat Muhammad Mustafa Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa 'aalihi wa Sallam

First of all, becoming married is a sunnah of the Beloved Messenger of Allah Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam, and it should be appreciated and revered, otherwise we would be no different to the kuffar, having illegitimate relationships, and children.

Secondly, if you have sincerely repented from your passed, like a lot of people do, and by becoming married, not to be involved in the matters you were involved in the passed, I dont see why your husband has to bring up the passed, especially when you are happily married, as it only makes things worst, and makes the marriage unstable.

What you should do is not mention anything, and state that we were married, on the condition that you accepted me for what I was at the time, and that these matters should have been brought up before our marriage, and not after. Tell him that you refuse to disclose any information, or even discuss our passed, as it will only make things worst, and that you do not want to make things worst, so forget it.

Tell him, that you are his wife, and that if he accepts you, fine, and that if he doesnt, the most worst thing in the eyes of Allah the Almighty is a worthless divorce of a husband to his wife, and that divorce is greatly disliked. EVEN IF IT HAS TO BE TAKEN, also tell him that you are not willing to accept this, and that you want more out of your marriage, instead of peety passed things which would otherwise jepeordise your relationship with him. You must be firm with him.

Also keep praying salah, making repentance, and supplication. Insha'Allah this crazy stage of your marriage will soon be over. (i.e. it is only a phase).


Jazak'allah for your question.





Wallahu A'lamu Biththawaab


M. Waseem Ashrafi