Urgent: An islamic right

[muslima]

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

My marriage is being arranged and after trying my hardest to stop this and for the sake of my parents happiness, and because i do not want to be disunited from them i have agreed to this, even though my heart isnt in it and they are well aware of this.

I was wondering if it is ok to ask this man when i meet him questions about his views on aspects of life that are important to me? My family have said they do not want me to say anything, as good girls do not say anything unless asked by someone else. But there is so much i want to know before being committed to this man for the rest of my life. Islamically i think i have a right to ask. I want to ask about this views on religion, culture, family, work, hobbies and interests, personality, view of the development of a marriage, and is he prepared to deal with me if i need alot of time to adjust. I dont want him to have false expectations of me, i dont want false idea of him either. This is our only chance as after that day he has to decide, i have no choice as i know i cannot say no, or my family will hate me and not want to be with me. But as my family are pressuring me not to say anything I dont know if it is the right thing to do islamically. Would it be wrong to Allah if i did? I would be grateful for a reply by tomroow as they are seeing me very soon.

Thank you for your time and guidance

Wassalam

[Imam]

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem,

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu


All praise is for Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) who is the Lord of the Worlds, and may Endless Blessings be showered upon the Last Messenger, the Most Beloved Prophet Hadrat Muhammad Mustafa (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam).


Jazak'Allah for your question. I think you are doing the right thing and being very cautious of the fact that after your marriage you do not want any form of disunity. The best thing to do is to send a letter, or a messenger, from within your family, to this person with all your questions, and wait for a reply.


Alteratively, you could write to him, or speak to one of his relatives i.e. sisters, and ask them to bring you back the news. Strictly speaking however, I dont think it is permissable, for a woman to see a man in the sense that she wants to talk to him, as you do, even for the sake of adjustment. However, by using one of the methods that I have prescribed for you above, you may be able to find your answer, in a perfectly valid, Islamic manner.


I hope that this helps you in one form or another.


Wallahu A'lamu Biththawaab


M. Waseem Ashrafi