Should I do the Nikah??

[pakigurl]

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

I would like to first thank you for answering my previous question. ashraf786.proboards15.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=marriage&thread=1137031119&page=1#1137031119


Unfortunately though it did not help much. The question was regarding a proposal a guy would like to send and how my parents will reject it due to the fact that he is not memon, young, and not educated. My parents are being a little too strict about the memon thing. They will not let go of that. I just had a conversation with my mom and i tried to explain to her that this guy is good and Alhamdulillah so is his family. Because ofcourse these are very important things when it comes to considering someone for marriage. My mom strictly said to me that if i marry this guy then i will be making her mad and that would mean that Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) is mad at me and that means i will never enter Jannah. is this correct?? I believe that if my intentions are good then Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) will help me. The intentions of both me and the guy are simply that we feel we are right for eachother and we want to do the Nikah as soon as possible to avoid committing any more sins (talking on the phone, chatting, etc.). I told my mom that and instead she got mad at me saying stuff like "dont you realize what people are going to think and say about us??" and "why are you in such a rush to get married?? other respectful girls wait for their parents to find someone." I can understand that, but at the same time, if im not mistaken, a girl has the right to choose her own spouse. i asked her what her reasons are for saying no and she just says that what im doing is wrong and im getting ALOT of gunnah for this. She believes if i marry this guy then i will definitely come back home to regret for my mistake and i will pretty much ruin my whole life. I asked her if theres any guarantee that the guy she chooses for me will keep me happy forever, and she said no, but then that will be my kismat. She's willing to give a stranger a chance bcuz he's memon, but not a guy i know bcuz he's not memon!!! It's getting to a point where i'm honestly getting tired of my own home. Me and the guy would like to do the Nikah right away. I have this constant fear that, obviously there's no guarantee of anyones life, and i really dont want to die with this big sin on me of having a relationship outside of marriage. And on top of that, i have positive feelings about this, we both have a good understanding, and we are very much compatible & i know thats also a big thing when deciding who to marry.
I do not want to go against my parents, but at the same time i cannot follow their wrong ways. they believe happiness will only come by marrying a memon (bcuz ppl wont talk bad about our family). And that is simply stupid. I am afraid they will never accept my decision. And now the thought of running away keeps crossing my mind. I really do not want to delay getting married...and incase i forgot to mention, his family is completely ready to accept me. they do however fear, that if my family is so against this, then when they decide to come, my family might insult them or say something rude. Therefore, they have given their son the OK to do the Nikah. I really dont care what the world will think or say, bcuz it is not them i have to answer, it is Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala). And i feel doing the Nikah would be a good thing since i have found my match and we are both ready to get married. Please help me as soon as possible!! Should we go ahead with the Nikah?

Jazakallah

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Message edited to include : previous post for reference purposes. ashraf786.proboards15.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=marriage&thread=1137031119&page=1#1137031119

[Imam]

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

Wa'alaykum 'Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu


Praise be to Allah the Almighty who is the Lord of the Worlds, and may Endless Blessings be showered upon His Beloved Final Messenger of Islam, Hadrat Muhammad Mustafa (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam)



Jazak'Allah for your question. It must be remembered that the parents must be listened to, as Muslims have a duty to their parents, which they owe to them, a duty which belies trust, acceptance, love, respect, and reverence.


Sometimes people may have a conflict of interest with their parents, in such a case, as the parents are the elder and the wiser, and the most experienced in life, they may make a decision for their son or daughter, so that it benefits them, in the future. As your parents are well aware of the facts, relating to marriages which do not have the consent of the parents, they will tell you at first hand that whether a certain proposal for marriage is allowable or disallowable.


This is the situation, I think that you are faced with, and I think that it is only in your interest, that they are saying this to you. After all, which parent is it, which would want their son or daughter to have a instable life, with regard to marriage? The answer to that question would be none, and that they only want you to have what is best for you, not what you think is best for them.


The duty you owe to your parents is much greater than that which you owe to any living being, on the face of this earth. They are the ones, who cleaned you when you were small, fed you, clothed you, educated you, and brought you up. There is nothing in the world that you could do, to pay them back, not even shower them with money.


Whats more greater than this love that they had for you? That you give that love, which you owed to your parents, away to someone else, whom you love today, and forget about tomorrow, while the blood of your parents is still keeping you alive within your veins? We should fear Allah the Almighty, and thank him, that He gave us such parents, who think for our benefit, who do not make a decision but solely for our own good.


May Allah the Almighty help us to listen to our parents and act upon what is lawful, towards them, and may he make us keep away from all the evils of this world, that may face us in its different forms.


Wallahu A'lamu Biththawaab



M. Waseem Ashrafi