husband who drinks

[roshi]

assalamualaikkum,

mine is arrange marriage for over 5yrs,settled in middle east now Alhamduillah!i
have son under 24 months after many abortion. after marriage i came to KNOW
hubby is alcoholic and his family(his mom,5brothers and 3sisters) supports
even his brother drinks.it.his home in india and in middle east sourrended by christian friends and muslims who drinks alcohol.i thought i can change
his habit and he prays only on fridays.i gave him all my 7yrs to quit
alcohol and he didn't do even during 3abortion and after having loving
son still he doesn't say yes to quit.in india he is a member in club
for life long.
iam scared of my son future he says we that is my
brother(elder) even had a talk he(hubby) is telling me that nobody can
force him to change it has to come from his mind. tell me what to do
brother? he makes innocent face and i don't know what he will do?why
doesn't he sacrifies bad habit for the family???hes telling me and my
brother weather he has to write in a paper that i won't drink and i will
start to pray .he is not telling me that he will quit.hes just telling
iam not drinking.in what sense i will take brother. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
.AFTER HEARING MY FEELINGS.HE HAS HELPING TENDENCY WHICH I LIKE BUT WHAT
ABOUT ISLAMIC WAY OF LIFE? he sometime tells if u change me then will tell u r a lady iam confused.sometime i feel why to suffer like this .i hate the smell of alcohol ..i just want to know weather its my mistake????plz answer me in detail brother?
WHAT DO U THINK IT IS PERMISSIBLE TO
STAY WITH ALCOHOLIC HUBBY THAT TOO FOR MY SON SAKE?
BROTHER PLZ REPLY MY MAIL AS SOON AS POSSIBLE WHICH WILL HELP ME TO
TAKE DECISION.

[Imam]

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

Wa'alaykum 'Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu


All Praise be to Allah who is the Lord of the Worlds, and may Endless Blessings be showered upon His Most Beloved, and Final Messenger of Islam, Hadrat Muhammad Mustafa Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa 'aalihi wa Sallam


Jazak'allah for your question. First of all abortion is not permissible in Islam, ... according to a Prophetic narration it is against the laws of nature. Secondly drinking is also strictly forbidden as it is stated in the Qur'an. A person who drinks is not the person whose prayer is accepted in the presence of Allah the Almighty.


If your husband is not re-assuring you that he will not drink after numerous attempts of trying, then it is his duty to maximise those attempts and quit completely as he is an open sinner, so therefore is liable to punishment.


The brother who is advising you to separate for some months is correct, you should ask your husband to divorce you. He should know his marriage was an Islamic one, yet his actions are those of an infidel. When he married you he made a promise to live an Islamic way of life, and now he has turned against his Maker, his Creator, his Prophet and Religion.


You should not even say you love him until he repents sincerely from his actions and if you do you will be doing so against the Will of Allah the Almighty. The Beloved Messenger of Allah Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam has stated :

''love is for Allah and hatred is for Allah''

So how is it that you say you love him ? If his habit is so bad, you are the one who should make the sacrifice and try to encourage him not to drink. For you to separate from him because of his drink is not being selfish, but is using your intellect and wisdom which Allah the Almighty has given you. If your mother has not known about his drinking habit, then that is better for you as this reduces the risk of other people knowing. That should make it that much more easier for you to propogate about his drink.


I think its ideal for you to separate from him as soon as possible if, he doesnt change his ways immediately, and not wait until you get your job. Once he does change his ways then make him repent, and promise to make an agreement with you, just as he made an agreement with you when he married you.


This brothers wife is totally wrong when she says only the girl has to make a sacrifice, but it is also the task of the husband to make just as much as a sacrifice, and be an example for the children, so that they dont fall into the same trap.


You should try as a last resort in asking for a khulla from your husband which is a type of divorce by contacting an Islamic agency or by seeing an Imam. They will assist you and give you further advice, as to what procedure to take.



Wallahu A'lamu Biththawaab



M. Waseem Ashrafi