Post by help on Apr 30, 2007 23:36:02 GMT
Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu
Dear Imam my life is going from bad to worse, people who were once very close to me have now become my enemies over the slighest of misunderstanding. I am isolated in my family home, my brothers dont speak to me, one hates my guts, the other treats me with contempt. Some of the situation i have brought about myself, not because i have sinned or done anything to them, but because of some of my misunderstandings, but i dont deserve this treatment. I am desperate to relief myself from my agony and torment. I usually cry myself to sleep every night and during the day and have absolutely no-one to turn to. One of my brothers who buys a lot of the food for the house, i am not allowed to eat the same food which is on the table as the rest of the family. I have lost over 2 stones in weight, and some people in the mosque think i have some kind of illness because i am getting thinner and thinner. My father has told me many times he wants me out of the house, over things you would not believe and that i am using his electricity all the time. One brother who is older than me, he doesnt even live with us, reminds me its his house and he is the boss and calls me names all the time. I have never laid claim to the house nor am i interested in owning it. I cannot even switch the lamp on without his permission. I just want to live and die in peace. My other brother who is very highly thought of locally wont sit in the same room as me, his sons call me names and disrespect me, and have in the past asked me to leave the house. My sister in law wont sit in the same room as me, and barks at me if i ask her a question in a polite manner, but usually she ignores me and has in the past told many lies about me to my brother. Trust me if i could afford it i would have moved out, but i have no money but could try to get a loan but not a mortgage. If it wasnt for my loving mother i probably would have killed myself along time ago. But at times too even she has shown more favouritism with her other sons, she discusses things with them quietly whilst i am still in the same room. She gets angry with me sometimes over the slightest thing, even if i say gently, she never reacts like that with the others. I am severly depressed, this is the worse i have felt in my life. I pray all of my 5 times salat and on time. I have severe headaches, and am always crying. I know suicide is haram but i feel its the only way out to relieve myself from my misery so the others dont have to put up with me any longer. I feel i have been a total failure in life. No matter what i do it is not appreciated. Please tell me are there any situations or circumstances which could be permissible for me to end my life. Or what if i went abroad and did jihad and died as a martyr, what would happen to me regarding the questioning in the grave. Please reply urgently.
Dear Imam my life is going from bad to worse, people who were once very close to me have now become my enemies over the slighest of misunderstanding. I am isolated in my family home, my brothers dont speak to me, one hates my guts, the other treats me with contempt. Some of the situation i have brought about myself, not because i have sinned or done anything to them, but because of some of my misunderstandings, but i dont deserve this treatment. I am desperate to relief myself from my agony and torment. I usually cry myself to sleep every night and during the day and have absolutely no-one to turn to. One of my brothers who buys a lot of the food for the house, i am not allowed to eat the same food which is on the table as the rest of the family. I have lost over 2 stones in weight, and some people in the mosque think i have some kind of illness because i am getting thinner and thinner. My father has told me many times he wants me out of the house, over things you would not believe and that i am using his electricity all the time. One brother who is older than me, he doesnt even live with us, reminds me its his house and he is the boss and calls me names all the time. I have never laid claim to the house nor am i interested in owning it. I cannot even switch the lamp on without his permission. I just want to live and die in peace. My other brother who is very highly thought of locally wont sit in the same room as me, his sons call me names and disrespect me, and have in the past asked me to leave the house. My sister in law wont sit in the same room as me, and barks at me if i ask her a question in a polite manner, but usually she ignores me and has in the past told many lies about me to my brother. Trust me if i could afford it i would have moved out, but i have no money but could try to get a loan but not a mortgage. If it wasnt for my loving mother i probably would have killed myself along time ago. But at times too even she has shown more favouritism with her other sons, she discusses things with them quietly whilst i am still in the same room. She gets angry with me sometimes over the slightest thing, even if i say gently, she never reacts like that with the others. I am severly depressed, this is the worse i have felt in my life. I pray all of my 5 times salat and on time. I have severe headaches, and am always crying. I know suicide is haram but i feel its the only way out to relieve myself from my misery so the others dont have to put up with me any longer. I feel i have been a total failure in life. No matter what i do it is not appreciated. Please tell me are there any situations or circumstances which could be permissible for me to end my life. Or what if i went abroad and did jihad and died as a martyr, what would happen to me regarding the questioning in the grave. Please reply urgently.