Women and Relationship

[Confused]

AsallamWalikum,
Is it right in islam for a women to have feelings for a muslim male..and to have the right to decide that she wants to marry that person? Also, before marrige is it right to have a friendship with no physical contact, nor seeing each other. Communicating through phone and Internet. Is it acceptable in islam? As we know in todays world these situation occurs, and I would like to know how far islam allows women in matter of loving someone before nikah?

[Imam]

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

Wa'alaykum 'Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu


All Praise be to Allah who is the Lord of the Worlds, and may Endless Blessings be showered upon His Most Beloved, and Final Messenger of Islam, Hadrat Muhammad Mustafa Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa 'aalihi wa Sallam


It all depends upon who that male is, if your love is for the sake of Allah the Almighty, or whether that feeling is for personal desires. A hadith states:

'Non of you is a true believer until he loves me more than his his parents, his children, and all the people as a whole.' (Bukhari)

and in another hadith it is stated:

'Non of you is a true believer until his desires are obedient to the laws which we have bought.'

It is not normal, and it is not a practice of Islam, that you have friendship with the person you want to marry, or you communicate with them, unless it is known between your parents, their parents, and it is known that you will not divulge into any act which is uncovered by the scope of the shar'iyyah [Islamic Law]. If this condition is fulfilled, then I do not see why you may not communicate with them over the internet.


However, you do have a right to decide who you want to marry, in terms of consent, and right, as it would be injustice for you to have a marriage forced upon you, without consulting you beforehand. Similarly, you may have feelings of love for the person you want to marry, if it is normal, and natural, as long as you do not commit any sin, and your love is for the sake of the Almighty. Part of a hadith also states:

'Love is for Allah, and hatred is for Allah.'

This means for the pleasure of Allah.

All these are requirements, so that you are not contravening any of the principles of Islam, although with the correct consent, permission, relationship and desire, there are permissibilities.


Jazak'allah for your question.





Wallahu A'lamu Biththawaab


M. Waseem Ashrafi